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Responses from Article Why Swing Dancers Quit Dancing
Responses: On Why People Quit Swing Dancing
posted in January 2010
I really appreciate your feelings about the swing dance and what it brings to some of
us that really like to dance. You are so right when you said it is all about THE
DANCE, and that's all. Maybe you could start a KEEP IT REAL column or something once
a month to vent some of the GOOD AND BAD feelings about how the swing dance brings out
in some of the REAL people in the swing world. It could be some type of therapy or
just a venting session. That's just my thoughts. But, anyway Keep Up The Good Work.
See ya on tha dance floor!!! James
l do know what you mean..l to have slow my role due to the different
personallity....Thanks for keeping real..Be Bless. Kristi
You are so right I saw the dance for the first time a little over 3 yrs ago and
loved it and wanted to learn when I started to learn i notice that people would sit
around the dance floor and pick apart a person's style it was like everyone would
try to out dance the other. Tonia
Denise in my opinion
You have acknowledge what I am sure
others are thinking, I agree with you.
HATS OFF TO YOU
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Frankie
Hi Denise!
You're so right. At times I really miss dancing, but it has become such a "clique"
thing. If you're not in the "in crowd" you don't get asked to dance. And because
some of the guys have gotten so good, they know they don't have to ask anybody
because they know the women are going to flock to them. And then with the merge of
the Swingout/WCS dancers, a lot of "our" men act like it's a badge of honor to have
all the white women falling all over them so our Black women sit on the sidelines.
I guess I'll try Salsa. lol Karen
Great commentary Denise! I believe that you hit it on the nail and also there
should not be all of this competitiveness amongst each other when we are all doing
the same thing but everyone may be doing a little something creative to be a little
different but we all have the same goal in mind....spreading the LOVE of dance!
Denise keep it up and return to the dance floor and let's show them that there can
be positive people who really want to spread the love of this dance. T. L.
That is definitely why I quit dancing!!!! The good dancers look down their noses at
us!!!!!!!!!! Johnson W.
You are so right, if you are not a perfect dancer they will not dance with you. But we still have to try with someone else. Thank you so much for what you have said. That means a lot to the ones is not as good as some. Patricia
Thank you, Denise you made my day!
you are so right in the statement that you made and Thanks again for making it.
Gwen
Denise,
You are so right about what you said. I can remember that we use to
dance ALL NIGHT. We use to dance and help and look out for each other.
Even though there were clicks then, it wasn't as bad as now.
Thanks for sharing and keeping us in the loop for what is going on in
the US. lol.. Hope to see you around soon.
Take care and God Bless
Lafayette
Denise,
I agree with you totally. I stopped dancing 4 years ago. Never went back.
I noticed that if you aren't a excellent dancer, guys won't give you the
time of day. I really miss it. When I took classes, I went alone and
didn't know a lot of people. I knew the steps, but didn't get a lot of
exposure. I was just thinking the other day about starting over. What do
you suggest is a good place to start, where guys don't mind helping you out.
Thanks Karen
Hello Denise, my name is Tony and my wife is Bridget. Your comments are
very refreshing as well as the comments from last month. I agree with you and in
our opinion this is the main reason young dancers quit and that is they get hurt.
And if a woman or man is respectful of himself or herself, then they won't allow
being disrespected so they depart never to come back in some cases. My wife and I
have been dancing for a year and we love the dance,and we got our bumps and bruises
and all of it was unnecessary. We think that in a class room, instructor's should
monitor their advanced dancers as well as instructor's under them to ensure proper
etiquette is being taught along with those basic steps we all desperately long to
learn. You have a great Philosophy for the dance that should be shared with every
dance teacher. Thanks for being you. Tony
Denise, this is James a person new to swingout. I wanted to learn because I
saw what you saw, great people having fun and acting right because it was all about
the dance. And unfortunately you are right there are people who have been blessed to
have more talent than the next person but who use the talent to say "you don't
deserve to be on the same floor at the same time that I am here" which is the ugly
attitude you are referring to. But I would never quit the dance but I would seek to
avoid those people who are trying to be-little me because I am not at there level.
That is why I love what you do and your messages are inspiring to me. Please don't
you give up and please don't you stop speaking up for people who just want to learn
the dance and have a great time swing dancing. Love James.
This is so true! It is the attitudes of others and they do believe that they are
better than the other person. I started out learning in Arlington and because of
the attitudes of the people there I stop going. I also tried other classes in the
Dallas area and they are even worst. You can't enjoy learning when the person that
teaching you is ego tripping and the others that have been dancing for a while act
like you are beneath them. I want even go to Black Clubs anymore.
I'm treated better elsewhere!
Daphne
Hi Denise.
I am glad that you shared your thoughts on why dancers stop dancing. I really do
appreciate all you do to keep us informed and to just promote the dance. Don't lose
heart!
I also took a break from dancing because of many reasons, one of which was feeling
inadequate and a bit ignored if I did not know the latest move. I also began
dancing because I LOVE to dance! I also love to watch others dance and enjoy
themselves. My prayer is that we will keep the fun and the spirit of unity in dance
and that we will show younger generations that we can dance together respectfully
and beautifully.
All this to say...Thank you my sister for your work and your patience with all of us
and please keep reminding us to do the right thing!
Gail
I think you are correct. people are quick to judge others based on what "they" believe a person should be, act, and say. Gail A.
Hi Denise, it's Al "Happy Feet" Dillard.
First, you can post my reply! I stand behind everything I say about Swing Dancing.
This includes Swing-Out, Houston Two Step Swing-Out, Lindy Hop, West Coast Swing and
Chicago Steppin.
You heartfelt post will not reach those who feel like they are all that, we can be
real about this! However it may reach those who are being taught right now by the so
call "I am all that". Lets be clear, not all teacher have a class. Most of them are
on the dance floor when the damage is being done. Male and Female!
Here is the biggest problem right now with this dance. No one teach our (African
American) history about this dance. How many dancers know Frankie Manning or Shorty
George?
How many dancers know the mother of all Swing Dancing is Lindy Hop? How many people
know African Americans created it in the early 1800’s and it fully matured by 1940.
Why am I saying this truth? The true value of why we get on that dance floor lies in
our history. If you don’t know the History you don’t really know why you are
dancing, teaching or promoting.
Hello Denise,
I agree for some of the same reasons.
I stop going to swing dance because of the guys not wanting to swing with you if you
are not one of the popular ones and if you are not interested in "Swinging" with
them, if you know what I mean. Also, I have notice that there are many ways to
swing and people are basically forgetting the original swing dance and adding too
much onto the dance confusing everyone. I would love to find a group of dancers who
just want to hang out and have fun dancing and not any other agendas. I love the
dance and I was introduced to swing dance a couple of years ago. Since then I have
been asked by all my friends and family to teach them the dance. I have been
teaching swing dance for almost 2yrs and I love to share what I have learned. I
teach the basic steps and advise everyone I teach they would have to go dancing in
order to learn the dance, because everybody does it differently. I pray that this
does not get too out of hand and more people
will learn the dance and have fun doing it. Sorry that this is getting to be a bad
thing to get into instead of just plain old fun.
God bless us all because we need Him in everything we do.
Make it a great day!
Much Love,
Pam
Denise I totally agree with you on this. I like to add how instructors change the
dance to accomodate all the dance styles in one (Swingout infused with another
dance. Totally confuse new students....it is and should be only about the dance.
live, love, laugh and dance. I know several people that stop coming due to the
drama behind swingout. I ask them not to allow others to stop their love for getting
out and dancing.
Yolanda
Hey Denise,
I strongly, strongly, strongly agree with you....when I started swing dancing seven
years ago it was so much fun...Jackie and I was use to be everywhere swing
dancing. But the last year in a half it has gotten really nasty everybody wants to
teach and they have gone way overboard with the dance making its a hot mess. When
ever Jackie comes down to visit she even notice that its totally have changed. I
have had several family members to learned swing dance this past year but once
they graduate they didn't want to come back out because of the mess.
Thank you so much for writing this on your website...
Shannon
I understand what you are saying? Thank you for that we all needed a
wake up call. With love Gold Star Dance Studio.
Thanks for that! I felt somewhat of the same way when I used to go. I
thought I was being overly sensitive.
Stacie
Thats right dancing should be fun, I feel the same way the men act like they don't
want with you just dance with the person all the time. This make me feel like why I
pay my money to come these event...just to set down...Teacher don't dance with you
if you not take there class anymore. So I agree with you and I so glad somebody
said something about this....you need everybody email to send this statement to
THANK YOU
Hi Denise,
I loved this article. The first paragraph speaks for itself. In the beginning my
significant other had no problems with me learning to swingout. Then all of a
sudden there were questions, like who you dancing with? why are wearing that blouse
or dress? and the ultimate question: when can I expect for you to return home. All
these questions became an issue. I had always wanted to learn how to swing. I had
started taking some classes @ Coaches Corner back in the day as a beginner. I
cannot remember who the (beginner) instructor was at the time, but he was very
discouraging to me as a beginner student, and I quit. Finally, when I learned
there were FREE classes at the Kliff Klubb I became a student again. I was
determined to learn and finish, and that's exactly what I did. I graduated in May
2009. I loved the instructor Barbara, and has since graduated from another swing
class. My man cannot understand why I like swinging-out so much....I tell him: I
like it, it's pretty and I feel good when I'm dancing.
I have met a lot of people and instructors, and have been to several swing places in
the DFW area...I stood my ground with my man, and it's been a year and growing
strong for me to continue learning the art of swing. 2010...
Treeca
Good morning Denise,
I read your opinion on your email concerning why people quit swing dancing. You are
absolutely correct about what you said about the way people act, and treat each
other after learning how to swing out. I've been swinging out since 2007, and when
I started I couldn't get enough of it. It was fun and eventful. Now, I hardly ever
go anymore because of that very reason you stated in your email. I'm experimenting
those same issues, at one particular place without naming any names, most of those
folks who learned from that establishment are very cliquish. And they dance with
people they know and leave the rest out. I don't mind asking men to dance, but
every once in a while I'd like to be asked. I stop going to that place because of
that, and heard from others that they felt that place was very cliquish. So I
wanted to try something new, I started west coast swing about 4 months ago. I love
that dance also, but I'm having a hard time finding places to go to practice what
I've learned in FW, only in Dallas. I don't like to drive to Dallas all the time,
but I'm wondering if there are any places in FW that west coast dance, do you know
of any? Now, I'm not dancing at all at the moment, and like you I love to dance and
that's why I learned. It's a shame that some people have to take the fun out of
dancing, something so exciting and fun like swinging out. The dance is supposed to
bring people together not separate them and take away the fun of it. I'm glad to
see someone else experimenting the same issues as me, I thought I was the only one.
Thank you, Theresa
There is one more reason, people seem not to be having fun when I
first started people use to smile because they enjoyed the dance now
everyone seem so serious that no one seem to enjoy themselves and
that's why I stopped going as much.
Johnny
Denise,
I've been dancing Swingout for 9 years and I have experienced a lot of what
these folks are feeling, and still do at times. When we took classes, we
bonded with the folks in our classes, regardless of the dance style
(Swingout or West Coast), venue, or instructors. You develop a rapport with
other dancers and, after you've been dancing a while, you begin to favor
some dancers (leaders or followers) over others. I have danced with plenty
of people who "know" how to dance "Chicago Style," only to find out they
didn't know how to dance either style. I am usually willing to dance with
just about anyone who asks, regardless of whether they know how to dance. I
was learning once and needed "better" dancers to help me.
When we first took lessons, we stood in lines with leaders on one side and
followers on the other. There were no advanced classes. At that time,
there was only one or two instructors in the Metroplex who would "couple up"
the students and teach them to dance together. In order to learn new moves,
we would watch the other dancers and then get them to teach us something we
liked. We still sit around and watch, not to be critical, but to learn and
admire the different styles. And, we still try to pick up new moves when we
can. So, just because people are watching, doesn't mean they are hating.
They may be stealing your moves, or just enjoying your style.
At times, I find myself sitting at the table watching others dance. I have
wondered why I am not asked to dance more often and I have a lot of answers,
but I don't know if any of them are right because I have never asked anyone.
It doesn't really matter and I'm not sure I want to know. When I really
want to dance, I will muster up some courage and ask someone who I've seen
around. After all, I'm there to dance and have a good time, not to
overanalyze or criticize or whatever. If I don't feel like dancing, I will
go talk to someone. I often strike up a conversation with the people
sitting next to me, even if we have never met.
And, let me also add that the WCS or the non-Black clubs aren't necessarily
any better. I found the WCS dancers to be just as cliquish until we started
taking classes and getting to know people. Once you stop going, they don't
know if you can still dance, so they are hesitant to dance with you when you
start going back. That's the same everywhere.
Snowbaby
Thanks Denise,
I appreciate your article about why some people quit swingout. I was actually
comtemplating quitting for some of the very reasons that you and some of your
respondents mentioned. Thanks for the article. I now know that it is not just me
with the same feelings. I love dancing and have learned several different versions
of swingout and two-step as well as salsa and hustle. It will be hard for me to give
up swingout and two-step but unless I see some changes, I will venture back to salsa
and hustle. It's all about fun and the dance for me and lately the swingout and
two-step crowd is neither.
Thanks again...I am going to enjoy your site. I am in Dallas on occasion to visit my
daughter. I now have a way to keep up with what's going on.
Zula
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